Mac Chats

Mac: I used to work at a doctor’s office. I worked all alone. And then I got sick and I died. And then I became Cormac and I was alive again. 

Mac: there’s a rock in my car seat! Me: I’ll dig it out when we get home.  Mac: Nah. I’m gonna eat it! Me: Oh no! Don’t eat it! It could hurt you! Mac: I’m going to eat it! Me: No! (Legit panicking) Mac: Mom. It’s an Altoid. I hid it. It’s a big joke! It’s not really a rock. I’m kidding. 

Mac: I’m a dude because I’m a boy. But girls aren’t dudes.  Me: Fair. What do you call girls? Mac: Women!

Mac: mom, what’s “i love you” Me: it means you are my whole heart and I think about you all the time.  Mac: do you dream about me? Me: I do! You’re in my dreams a lot.  Mac: I can’t be in YOUR dreams.  We have separate dreams. I’m in MY dreams.  Me: True. But you visit me occasionally. 

“Mom. I need my magazine” “Umm… what magazine?” “It’s ALL about breasts”.  Brings me magazine. (Bra catalog) “Look! It’s Max and Henry’s mom” As Max and Henry’s mom pointed out - at least he’s looking at their faces. 

It begins.  Mac: Why does the mom have poop on her head? Me: Gross! Wait. Are you telling me a joke?! Mac: Yes! Why does the mom have poop on her head? Me: I don’t know. Why? Mac: Because she’s a bum.